September 29, 2019
There aren’t a lot of things a man truly needs. A PC. A good internet connection. But above all, a badass evil base.
There are some things I didn’t know I needed until I heard about them.
For example, I never really put much thought on acquiring a former German NATO bunker to use as a base to do all sorts of cool internet shit.
Really goes to show that there’s always someone out there that’s two steps ahead of you, huh?
A cybercrime data center that was shut down by German authorities was housed inside a former NATO bunker in a sleepy riverside town, police revealed on Friday.
More than 600 law enforcement personnel including Germany’s elite federal police unit, the GSG 9, were involved in an anti-cybercrime operation that took place in the town of Traben-Trarbach on the banks of the Mosel river.
It looks… pretty boring, honestly. Where are the dark spires? Where are the skulls? Where’s the demon summoning magic circles? My base is gonna be way cooler than this.
How do you even buy NATO bases, anyway? Is there some kind of eBay for bunkers, missile silos and other awesome crap like that?
If so, why is that information hidden from Gamers such as myself – who are obviously best suited to make use of such intriguing real estate?
It’s obviously an anti-Gamer conspiracy to disempower us by taking away our bunkers.
Police officers succeeded in penetrating the building, a 5,000 square meter former NATO bunker with iron doors that goes five floors deep underground. The building was located on a 1.3-hectare (3.2 acre) property secured with a fence and surveillance cameras.
That’s… so cool.
You made it, bro. You made it.
“We had to overcome not only real, or analog, protections; we also cracked the digital protections of the data center,” said regional police chief Johannes Kunz.
The target of the operation was a so-called “bulletproof hosting” service provider. Bulletproof hosters provide IT infrastructure that protects online criminal activity from government intervention.
In the raid, police seized 200 servers along with documents, cell phones, and large quantities of cash. Thursday’s operation was the first time German investigators were able to apprehend a bulletproof hoster, according to German media outlets.
Cracking the security codes to access the contents of the servers was another difficult task for the police. On the servers, they found countless websites facilitating the illegal sale of drugs, weapons, counterfeit documents, and stolen data as well as sites distributing child pornography. The servers hosted Wall Street Market, formerly the second largest darknet market place for drugs in the word before law enforcement shut the platform down earlier this year.
Wow, what a waste to host such boring crap even though they had such a cool and moody home base.
I would have hosted the world’s largest collection of illegal memes.
We’re talking stuff so spicy, even the Stormer won’t host it.
But seriously, if you have a decommissioned nuclear silo, an old oil rig or maybe even a volcano base, hit me up. I’m definitely interested. I’ve got, ugh, like at least 20-30 bucks saved up, but I could pay the difference in memes, so you definitely wouldn’t lose out.