German Official Tells Germans to Wash Using Wet Cloth Instead of Taking Showers

I think we’ve all been camping, and this wet cloth thing really does not do the job in the underarms, groin, and buttocks.

You have to soak these areas in water and scrum them, or you’re going to have a stench.

But… just imagine that a developed country is being put through these kinds of extreme wartime measures over the Ukraine democracy?


When threatened by an energy crunch, people can save a lot by using a washcloth instead of taking showers “all the time,” the head of the German state of Baden-Württemberg Winfried Kretschmann said in an interview on Friday.

Kretschmann, a Green, runs the southwestern German state bordering France and Switzerland, with some 11 million residents. Porsche and Mercedes-Benz have their headquarters in the state capital of Stuttgart. Speaking to the Südwest Presse newspaper about the energy crisis Germany is currently facing, Kretschmann revealed what steps he personally takes to avoid wasting energy.

The minister-president said he had a “huge” solar power rig on the roof of his house, drove an electric car, and only heated a single room, which he called a “healthier” habit anyway. When asked if he also took cold showers, Kretschmann said he did even better.

You don’t have to shower all the time. There’s the washcloth, after all – a useful invention.”

Almost two thirds of Germans have already reduced their time in the shower in response to repeated government appeals to do so, according to last month’s poll by research institute INSA.

Well, when Germans are washing their stinking armpits with a rag, and realizing it is not working, they can take some comfort in the fact that the Ukraine is really winning the war hard.

According to recent reports from Zelensky, the Ukraine people are on the verge of taking back Crimea. 80 million Russian soldiers have been killed, and the Ukraine has only lost 7 men, all of whom were eaten by bears while pissing in the woods.

The sanctions that Germany is suffering under have completely destroyed the Russian economy. The ruble has completely collapsed, and Russians are starving in the streets. Soon, the Russian people will abandon Putin and join the cause of Zelensky.

So while Germans are suffering a lot, freezing and stinking, they need to know that this suffering is really changing the world, and soon there will be hardcore child drag shows in Moscow, as the whole world falls in the face of the undefeatable spirit of Democracy.